relationship passion can fade away. Leaving relationships lacking and opening up new doors for many new problems.
First, I want to make sure that you understand that all of what is about to follow is on a continuum. In other words, I am going to mention both sides of the continuum. But there is lots of space in the middle. Say you have 0 to 10. I will give you the 0 and the 10, but you know where exactly you lie. The 0 to 5 ranges you are probably in a good relationship, the 5 to 10 range means there could be some work done. And so forth
Before we begin with methods to bring the passion back. You need to take a minute and make sure you are not attempting to save a sinking ship. There is a difference between a good working relationship with some newfound dullness or loss of passion. And a relationship that just does not work anymore (or never did). And in you hearts you all know the difference and know which relationship you are in. Trust yourself and think about you! There is a time when you just have to abandon the ship. I won't go into details, on which is which because it's a case-by-case, heart-by-heart feeling most of the time. If you want more info or help than feel free to send me an email.
There are three specific categories that the loss of passion can fall into. However the one over all thing that is needed is communication. And amazingly the thing most couples lack. You both might be filling the same way, but if you won't talk about it then you just sit there and let it eat you up inside. Now, there is the off chance that you feel the loss of spice and your partner does not. More than likely this is going to be the male, it is scientifically proven that males will not pick up on problems as quickly as females will. So proceed with caution when bringing the subject up. However, normally addressing the issue is the best way to get it resolved quickly and efficiently. When you tiptoe around the problem or the feeling then you will only make things worse. It really is great to watch when couples I have worked with open up the communication line and see how much easier things are. It is like the light bulb just went offwhat we talk to each other and that helps? This goes for any issue in life. Unless, you are crazy like myself and like to beat the nail repeatedly.
on the head. So just make sure the issue is a real one and not in your head(ladies).
Now, lets divide it down into the three categories of passion: sex, love, and friendship.
We will start with the friendship category or also known as talking passion. After all a relationship needs to be a friendship. At the beginning of most relationships, you notice that you love to spend lots of time together and talk about everything. After awhile you think the conversation is boring and are starting wonder if you two even have anything in common. (remember the abandon ship rule) However sometimes you can talk yourself into boredom. In other words you two talked so much in the beginning you cant think of anything new except the boring, "How was your day?" In your mind you have completely gone through the past, and now have the present and the future. And future talk is not always the way to go.
So you realize you are in a friendship passion rut. There are a few ways to make progress. For starters work on the communication skills in the relationship. Make sure you two can talk about anything. From there start trying new topics to discuss. Get interested in what your partner likes. If they are into sports or the opera then do some research and surprise them. Or even better the two of you can try new things together. Watch a new show, take a cooking class, join a sports team, etc. Find something you both want to try or find a compromise and both pick something. This can bring a new light to the relationships. Make sure you don't force conversation though, quiet time is good, being pushy can only lead to more problems. Just make sure you know what is going on in their life. More than just how their day was. Do they have a hard professor? Strict Boss? Etc. What about goals or complicated tasks? You would be amazed how something small can start a big spark for another conversation. Once the conversation flows back into the relationship, you will feel a sense of relaxation which will help build the communication and intimacy in the love relationship.
The intimacy factor leads us to the sexual passion that takes place in the relationship. The want and need to be all over one another all through out the day. But does it seem like now if you get into bed at the same time that you feel compelled to have sex. And it is just sex. No passion, no mind-blowing orgasms for either party. It becomes a job instead of a want. Now, you have the lack of passion in the bedroom.
First, thing is to open up the lines of communication (it really is key). It might be a touchy subject, but showing up in black leather and a whip could end up scaring your partner away. So TALK about it! Ask questions. Never place blame in this situation. "You suck in bed!" Won't help resolve anything. Realize it's an equal relationship. Of course there are those cases where things are not equal. Still that does not make you perfect; so do not throw that in their face. Ask your partner what they might like to try. Say things you might want to try. Explain that maybe it is time you two were more adventurous. Ease the topic slowly. Maybe make a nice romantic sexual dinner or give them a sensual massage or soak in the warm tub naked together. These make the topic come to life and make the conversation easier to bring up. Then while watching TV. Or there is always the right before you go to bedtime to talk.
So, now you have opened the lines of communication and have come to terms with the idea for passion in your sexual relationship. What might be some good ways to make sure you are making great progress? Easy think like you did when you first got started on this relationship journey. Throw out the ugly undies and get some pretty ones. This implies for both parties. Men your holey boxers are not a pleasant sight for us ladies! Taking a romantic weekend get-a-way is something that can help bring the sexual passion back. Being out of the ordinary situation can help. This does not have to be super expensive. Go camping or go to a local hotel, the idea is to just get away and turn off the cell phones and concentrate on each other. A few other ideas would be to go to a sex shop together, this can always get the mind thinking. Leave each other naughty little notes or send text messages during the day. Let your partner know they are thought about and wanted while you are away from each other and when you meet up again, the anticipation for each other will take over.
Finally, the third and final category is love passion. The most important and is really just a combination of the other two just at a greater depth. My best way to describe this is the look and someone's eye when they love each other. Just how a person looks at each other is full of passion. Love passion is all about going to no end to make your partner happy and to truly give them all of you. Some great examples are Johnny Cash and June Carter, if you ever see old video of them interacting with another the love between the two of them is so strong it could knock you over. This is the kind of passion all relationships needs.
Now, in the beginning of a relationship it can appear this passion is there, but normally it is just lust disguised so be careful and know the difference. If this passion is gone in the relationship then that means you have lost the friendship and sexual passion. The first thing to do to get this back is communication.
Communication will be the only thing that will help bring this passion back. There is a deep-rooted problem and it needs to be talked out. Couples counseling can sometimes help in this area. Once you get the communication fixed just follow the ideas for friendship and sexual passion and things will come around; as long as the relationship is meant to be saved.
With these simple ideas you can bring the passion back in no time!
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1 year ago